Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Randomize
