Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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