I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Why is your signature on my underwear?
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
