this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
