: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
