Nicole vs. Life
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Randomize
