Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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