oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Randomize
