weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
