dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
i need to put some appletini on your dick
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
I need water and some morals
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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