After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Randomize
