Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
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