My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
