Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Panties = found
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
