Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize