I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
