Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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