I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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