Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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