Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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