She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
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