i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
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