Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Randomize
