He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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