dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
