U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Randomize
