No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
