I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
