I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
birth control should be required to get into college
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Randomize
