For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
And my parents said I crawled through the house
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
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