You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
you mean i was at the winter classic?
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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