i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
My penis needs a shock collar
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
