i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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