I'm drive I can fine osifer
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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