The police scanner is talking about you again....
a search helicopter?!
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
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