Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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