We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
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