just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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