how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Randomize
