My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
