Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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