It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
