Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
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