Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
