I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I intend to get homeless drunk
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
