im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
