he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Randomize
