i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
