I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
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