My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
love makes seman taste better
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
You dont lie about slip and slides
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I just forgot I was standing up.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
