You're completely useless in the revolution.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
