I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
