yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
