I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
No...this little piggys going to the bar
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
