i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
