"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Randomize
