Well douche your snatch and let's go!
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
You smell like stripper and shame
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
