David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Randomize
