Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize