I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize
