i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Randomize
