we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
i think my cat just said my name.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
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