i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
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