is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Randomize
