Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
She tied me up with her honor cords...
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Randomize
