I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Randomize
