When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
