WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
