Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
