my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Randomize
