The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I just found puke in my bra..
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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