Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I love having hate sex.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
