Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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