i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
