in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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