Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Can I color on your dick again?
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Randomize