oh god the rape fog is back!
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
