For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize