Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
