Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize