I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Found your dick twin last night
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
not ubering you a puppy
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
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