i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
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